If there could be a perfect title for an episode, it was definitely this one. If this wasn’t a meat-fest, I don’t know what is…
So the show opens with a recap of the controversial decision in last week’s fight between Dante Rivera and Brandon Sene. Ironically, as angry as Rampage was about the decision after the fight, tonight’s show glosses right over it. Instead, the focus is on how much Jeremy May pissed Matt Brown off when he put limejuice in his dip. Well, at least Brown got his wish and the fight was on.
The whole car ride after the fight, all on Team Forrest agree that May f****d with the wrong guy. It is obvious that a lot of tension is building, and just gets worse when Team Forrest gets back to the house to find Team Rampage pounding shot after shot. And in typical form, May is acting like a complete moron. We later find out that May had poured the vodka out of the bottle and put water in itself place. So he pretended to do shots and act drunk – - Yeah, real funny. Is this what you do when people already think you’re an annoying idiot? Right, you want to prove it!
None of this changes for the Team Rampage training session. May runs around all cocky and dubs his technique “Jeremey Jitsu” – - he does “whatever it takes to beat your ass”. He talks some more trash about Brown, but all in a “good Christian way”. What is with this guy? Then in some odd twist of fate, May hurts his knee during a sparring session. He stays off it for the week, not really sparring or doing any cardio. He is confined to the bike. Gotta love Karma!
At Team Forrest’s training session, all we see is Matt Brown stomping around angrily. During interviews with several housemates, Brown himself and Dana White, it is revealed that he apparently has some anger issues. Burdened by a troubled past full of alcohol and fights, Brown confesses how MMA saved him. Aww, how touching. Anyone got a tissue?
Back at the house, Tim Credeur is giving Brown tips and letting him know about May’s bum knee. It’s then that we find out that May had been milking his knee to pace himself. He calls himself a “sandbagging son-of-a-bitch”. I don’t know if he says this to convince himself, or to convince the viewers that he has a chance.
At this point, the producers are CLEARLY showing this fight to be in Brown’s favor. May is made to look like the house fool, while Brown looks like the likely winner and hero. Even during the weigh-in photo Brown looks intense and serious while May is trying to make a joke of it all.
Matt Brown (Team Forest) vs. Jeremy May (Team Rampage)
Surprisingly, May comes out seriously aggressive, landing punches whenever possible. Brown can block them, but he can’t seem to counter. May gets Brown on his back within 30 seconds. May continues to dominate with a lot of punches and ground control. He even gets Brown in position to be submitted, but he can’t capitalize. Brown manages to reverse and gets May on his back, but he also doesn’t capitalize. They both get to their feet, but May shows serious wear. With May half-aware, Brown is able to land a couple good punches and definitely leaves May shaken. A seriously gassed May stumbles back to his feet in time for Brown to land a perfect knee to his chin, followed by a kick straight for May’s jaw. May crumbles. And Brown’s round one KO gives Team Forrest 4 wins to Rampage’s ZERO (this doesn’t sit well for Rampage who is clearly heard screaming ringside).
Now for the really funny part: May blames his bum knee on his lack of training! He says the whole fight was just so out of character for him and that – here’s the kicker – Matt Brown got lucky! **insert confused look here**
And ya gotta love it – we get a second fight in the same night! Woohoo! The meat train continues!
Team Forrest flips their magic coin and the next fight is Luke Zachrich and Daniel Cramer.
From the get go, these two are dubbed as being underestimated; Zacharich because he was chosen last and Cramer because he is a “pretty boy”.
The best part of this is the priceless confused look on Rampage’s face. He is completely baffled as to how Forrest is picking fights. When he finds out that it’s via coin flipping, he is just absolutely dumbfounded. He claims that Forrest has real “caboñas”? Ah, gotta love Rampage-isms. Whatever he thinks of Forrest, though, he is definitely tired of losing.
The training sessions for both teams are pretty dull. Zachrich whines that he has a lot to prove for being the last pick. Cramer, though 3-0, says that people think he’s not tough enough. Both teams make predictions in their own favor – well, duh…
Both guys go into this pretty evenly matched. Though neither is expected to be particularly spectacular, it should still be an interesting fight.
Luke Zachrich vs. Daniel Cramer
Cramer comes out swinging and they’re both trying to get each other clinched. But even after a minute or so, both seem really anxious, almost panicky. Cramer finally gets Zachrich against the fence and gives him a few solid knees. They push off each other, but not for long. Zachrich gets Cramer down and almost gets his back, but before long both are standing. Again, there’s a lot of reckless swinging. And with only 2 minutes left both look really worn. You hear a lot of shouts of “Hands up!” from their corners. Cramer finally lands some solid strikes to Zachrich’s face, rendering him clearly out of it. With both worn there is a lot of swinging but nothing lands. Finally, Zachrich sweeps Cramer and gets him down. Cramer rolls and gives Zachrich his back. With 30 seconds left, Zachrich gets under his neck, but he clearly has no energy to squeeze. He mounts him, but lays on him until the round ends.
Again, Cramer comes out swinging, but they’re all half-assed punches. Cramer gets Zachrich on his back and he gets the full mount. He rains down elbows and fists. Trying to escape, Zachrich rolls and gives Cramer his back to mount. Cramer continues to punch the size of Zachrich’s head. Zachrich tries to roll back, but Cramer is landing a lot of strikes. Unfortunately, as clean as the strikes are they’re not doing any real damage. Finally, Zachrich gives up defending himself and Mazzagatti stops it.
With Team Rampage getting its first win, all you hear is an excited Rampage whooping it up. He calls it the best fight he’s seen in a long time (well, I guess when you lose the previous 4, they don’t exactly rank highly for the guy).
And in a touching moment, Cramer says that he’s happy to make Rampage happy. How sweet.
Zachrich is disappointed in himself and realizes he gassed, but he gives Cramer due respect. Both are really respectful and humble – a nice change to see the house!
But then the best (of the worst) that I’ve seen on TV finally happened. Rampage showcases his “I got control” dance.
Sorry Rampage, you are NOT Janet!